m i s a n t h r o p y.

So I'm not sure where this post is coming from (I'm pretty sure I'm not grieving over Daryl because it was after all just liking). Maybe it's from listening to Coldplay's Fix You one too many times and realizing that the break is pretty damn boring when you got no one with you. Maybe it's from realizing that November's almost here and there's a slight chance that Nikki's coming home and that means meeting up.

Wasn't it way better when we all lived happily, blissfully unaware of how much we actually secretly wanted each other? Wasn't it way better when we we tried to tamp down the feelings of loneliness even when we were in a sea of people? I don't know where these words are coming from actually; I just feel a little weirder than usual (which is saying something), as if... I dunno. Something. Anything.

Don't worry, I promise these type of nonsensical rambles won't be frequent and will have large spaces of time between them.

I blame the music. The idleness. This slowly dying heart of mine. Stupid misanthrope.

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Let me ramble for a little longer, okay?

I find it terribly pathetic for me to be pining over someone who not only holds no interest in me that way whatsoever, but also has a girlfriend. I mean come on, what the fuck. He's just supposed to be my friend. Just being the keyword here. And besides, shouldn't I be pining for the other idiot?

And now that the first semester's over, there's no guarantee that we'll be as close as before. It doesn't even guarantee that the entirety of SEEJD will still be Nursing students thanks to Essa. Haha. Will absence really make the heart grow fonder? Or will my silly heart finally realize that it was nothing more than the symptoms of liking someone: proximity and similarity. Oh dear, my brain is pretty sure of the facts. But my heart is silly and imaginative, please... Someone tell it to shut up for more than a second.

I saw him two days ago, and I already miss him. I'm seeing him this sunday, but I still miss him. That's pathetic; dreadfully pathetic. I guess I can relate to Alceste with his love for the woman who seemed to torment him so. But well, he doesn't torment me; he's my friend. And he doesn't have a fancy name like Célimène; he's just Daryl.

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